Some people think you're full of hippies and rainbow flags. But other things you brought to my life this week include:
Champagne with pop rocks in it: This was described as an adrenaline rush "Sometimes something explodes in your mouth and sometimes it doesn't." Heh.
A bartender a hipster speakeasy: You didn't like talking to the girls who thought they were the Kardashians. When they asked where they could score some pot, you said "on the streets". And then you said "you know, it's not legal" and they said "but it's not illegal". Your disdain for them trying to break the rules melted my heart a little. Also, you had the best brunch suggestion ever.
Golden Gate Park: I'm not so much "into nature", but not a bad way to spend 6 miles of your time.
Cable Cars: I don't understand it, but I like it.
Honesty: There was one honest cab driver who stopped the meter because he was lost and didn't want to overcharge for his mistake. 10 points for honesty, sir.
Napa: Pretty much all of it. It's beautiful, people are friendly, and there is wine everywhere. Who doesn't like that?
Cute Boys: Dear Chateau Montelena, you have some charming boys who entertained us during the tasting. I appreciate both the banter (Tiger vs. Lance in a game of "Who's more terrible?") and the honesty ("you can drink this cab with a cheeseburger"). And your knowledge of Texas stuff was impressive.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Following Directions
Recently, I almost burned down a hotel room and a friend of mine by lighting a fire in the fireplace. The instructions said "light the bag". So, I did. The room started filling with smoke and the alarms went off. So, I opened the door to let out the smoke and the alarm stopped, but it was too late. The room was full of smoke.
After airing out the room for a bit, I closed the door and smoke started billowing out into the room again. Hmm...the flue is open, what could be wrong? I called the front desk to let them know of my predicament and the question was "did you leave the door open for 5 minutes while you lit the bag?" No. The instructions just say light. the. bag. Why would I do anything else? "Oh well, just leave the door open till it airs out". So...I should leave the door open, in the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere, because I followed instructions? I did for awhile, but eventually closed the door to keep out potential killers. And bugs. And cold air.
At breakfast the next morning, folks were complaining that they smelled smoke all night and didn't have their fireplace on. (Oops). So, I let the morning front desk staff know that my room smells like the inside of a barbeque pit. They asked "did you leave the door open for five minutes?" I just looked blankly and said "no, I didn't know to do that cause it wasn't on the instructions. And all night, the room smelled like smoke." The response was "you should have kept the door open".
Why bother with instructions if they are wrong? It's like people who cook a turkey for the first time and don't know you have to remove the bag of stuff from the inside. The only way you would know is if you've done it before or if it's in the instructions.I don't think the folks at Butterball would make you feel as dumb as this hotel staff did. Fail.
After airing out the room for a bit, I closed the door and smoke started billowing out into the room again. Hmm...the flue is open, what could be wrong? I called the front desk to let them know of my predicament and the question was "did you leave the door open for 5 minutes while you lit the bag?" No. The instructions just say light. the. bag. Why would I do anything else? "Oh well, just leave the door open till it airs out". So...I should leave the door open, in the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere, because I followed instructions? I did for awhile, but eventually closed the door to keep out potential killers. And bugs. And cold air.
At breakfast the next morning, folks were complaining that they smelled smoke all night and didn't have their fireplace on. (Oops). So, I let the morning front desk staff know that my room smells like the inside of a barbeque pit. They asked "did you leave the door open for five minutes?" I just looked blankly and said "no, I didn't know to do that cause it wasn't on the instructions. And all night, the room smelled like smoke." The response was "you should have kept the door open".
Why bother with instructions if they are wrong? It's like people who cook a turkey for the first time and don't know you have to remove the bag of stuff from the inside. The only way you would know is if you've done it before or if it's in the instructions.I don't think the folks at Butterball would make you feel as dumb as this hotel staff did. Fail.
Oh Beautiful for Gluten Skies
I understand passing food fads. I have tried them all: carbs are good, meat is bad; meat is good, carbs are evil; don't eat eggs, eggs are good fat; have olestra - it's magic, oh wait, you are leaking poo.
However, being gluten free is one I don't get. Some people legitimately have allergies to ...something. Roger that. However, some folks just try new things and then get wildly passionate about them. I was on a flight and the person next to me asked for a bag of nuts. Upon receiving the bag, she inspected it and sighed loudly."This bag of nuts has wheat. That's what's wrong with America."
Wait. THAT'S what's wrong with America? Not an economic crisis, high unemployment rate, our kids not being competitive with other countries? She went on to explain that she doesn't have an allergy, she's just trying no gluten. Then shut up. Maybe that's what's wrong with America. You try a fad and then expect everyone around you to cater to your whims. Not. Interested.
However, being gluten free is one I don't get. Some people legitimately have allergies to ...something. Roger that. However, some folks just try new things and then get wildly passionate about them. I was on a flight and the person next to me asked for a bag of nuts. Upon receiving the bag, she inspected it and sighed loudly."This bag of nuts has wheat. That's what's wrong with America."
Wait. THAT'S what's wrong with America? Not an economic crisis, high unemployment rate, our kids not being competitive with other countries? She went on to explain that she doesn't have an allergy, she's just trying no gluten. Then shut up. Maybe that's what's wrong with America. You try a fad and then expect everyone around you to cater to your whims. Not. Interested.
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