People throw around the word "bitch" meaning, in general, some rude chick. But there are different types of bitches and they come in all different styles. Here are a few of my recent favorites. Please feel free to add some of your own as well.
1.) The Lazy Bitch - Really? You can't walk 10 feet to return your cart to the appropriate area in the grocery store parking lot? I hope that karma puts a ding in your perfect, humorously large shiny black SUV, since you put your cart in the empty spot next to you, taking a perfectly good space in a prime location when it's hot as balls outside.
2.) The Stupid Bitch - If you aren't a theater nerd, you probably aren't aware that there is actually a Phantom of the Opera Part 2. In the original Phantom, Christine is kidnapped, terrorized, assaulted and psychologically abused by the Phantom. So, in Part 2, the Phantom writes her an "anonymous" letter and gets her to visit him. This is a classic Lifetime Movie scenario. Why would you go meet the Phantom? He tried to ruin your life, molest you and nearly killed your husband. By all means, this is the perfect gentlemen to introduce your child [er - his child] to. Idiot.
3.) The Drunk Bitch - Due to recent events, I am not referring to your girlfriend who gets so tipsy at a bar that she rubs her vagina on strangers. No. I'm talking to you, Drunk Bitch, who broke my car. I understand that you have no license or insurance and don't really care what you did to our cars. But, do you really want to have killed us? Oh, no? Really? Then DONT FREAKING DRINK AND DRIVE.
4.) The "I had no idea you thought I was being a bitch" Bitch - You are a special breed. The type who espouses that women should be leaders. But, that's just for show. In reality, every woman to you is a threat. Especially if she is younger, prettier, smarter, or somehow, all three. So, you want to take those women who dare to be better than you down. By petty and personal attacks. You are the reason boys don't want us to be in charge of things. You are proof that girls are mean and would rather tear each other down than work together. Well congratulations faux-feminista, you just set us back 100 years. It will be a miracle if they still let us vote this year, much less hold jobs other than homemaker and seamstress.
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