The Non-Parenting Parents

I work in an office where I give individuals information that will hopefully help them out and (I like to pretend) change their lives for the better. So, I expect that when someone comes to see me, they want to hear what I am saying and recognize that we are both using our time to create some sort of positive outcome. That rarely happens.

There are certain situations that bug me more than others. I just had an encounter with one: The Non-Parenting Parents.

My office is not a playpen. If you have a child and out in the waiting area you need to hold them in your lap for fear they will run away or cause destruction, do not walk into my office and immediately let them roam free. I do not have a child that comes to work with me, therefore my office has not been baby proofed.

If your child is yelling/crying/drooling and I ask the other parent - the one who doesn't need to be in here - to take the child outside, that is my way of saying: Get your yelling kid out of my office so we can get some work done. If the look on my face after you say, "Nah, that's ok" isn't telling enough, then you probably need glasses.

If I ask you to please keep your child on your lap after they threw stuff off my bookshelf or climbed on top of my filing cabinet, please don't tell me, "Just tell her 'no!' - she listens to strangers!" I am NOT your child's mother (and I have had to say that a couple times). AND if your child doesn't listen to you but listens to strangers, never take your child to the zoo (or any public place). Your child will be kidnapped:

     Stranger: Hey kid - come with me.
     Kid: OK!


The stranger wouldn't even have to distract your child with a lollipop. You will be the focus of a Lifetime movie.

There are many people that should not have children. I am not one of those people. I should have children - I'd be an awesome mom. But, I don't want my child growing up with yours -so I'm keeping my womb uninhabited. My kid with your bad seed child as an influence would end up being a whole other Lifetime movie and I'd rather not deal with it.